So. It's January 2nd, and I am just now writing about New Year's resolutions. I've wanted to do this for about a week now, but you know, kids happen. So yes, that's right...fixing my procrastinating ways and figuring out how to make my children self sufficient robots were not on my list of resolutions.
Anyway, it's that time of year again. The time of year when the most read book of the Bible will be read again--Genesis-- and by mid February we will all be trading Leviticus for the good ol' New Testament. By mid February, we'll be all down on ourselves because our new Christmas treadmill hasn't been used in 2 weeks. By mid February, the mail will still be cluttered on the kitchen table instead of being neatly categorized in the cute bill organizer we created from Pinterest. Mid February is coming, people. All of our resolutions will be buried away in the sea of just trying to keep everything and everyone clean, and keeping the kids alive.
All of this resolution stuff got me to thinking... I wish I could make resolutions for other people. That would be fantastical. For instance, my New Year's resolution for my husband would be to clean out the garage. Every time I have to open the garage door, it seems like my perfect, busy beaver, German neighbors are outside... and they stop sweeping their driveway to gawk at the... at the... STUFF.
Just, STUFF.
STUFFED.
EVERYWHERE.
Ah, the Germans. I know they talk about the garage, because I always get to hear about how "in Germany, no junk allowed in yards or on porches! You get fine! No junk! Everything neat!" (Now, we don't have junk in our yard, but I can't vouch for others in eastern Kentucky.) I am also told "I see your mom come over. She help you clean, yah? Hahaha... I see her come. I tell husband, 'Her mom help her clean!' Hahahaha!" So yes. They talk about the garage. These are the people who grow their own vegetables, catch their own rainwater, hang their clothes out to dry, cut their grass EVERY OTHER DAY. And they sweep their driveway. Oh, I know. Some of you are like, "I sweep my driveway." I'm sure you do. And you probably keep your New Year's resolutions until at least June, don't you? Well anyway. I think we out did them on our Christmas decorations, at least. And their decorations are still up. Which leads me to resolution #2 for the hubby... get the Christmas decorations down before the Germans.
Meanwhile, back in the jungle...
My New Year's resolution for my sweet, 3 year old little Javan, would be to not WHINE. ABOUT. EVERYTHING. I mean, who needs to exercise and eat healthy if your kid will just NOT WHINE. That in itself would lower my stress level and blood pressure significantly. A typical example of his whining? He wants juice. I take the lid off the juice. "NO!!! I WANT STRAWBEEZ MOOK!!!" (Translation: strawberry milk.) I commence mixing the strawbeez mook. I put the lid on his sippy. "NOOOO!!!!! I WANT TO SEE IT! I WANT TO SEE MY STRAWBEEZ MOOK!!!" I take the lid off. I show him his milk. "It's pink!" Yes, it's pink, I say. It's always pink. It's pink today. It will be pink tomorrow, and next week, and the week after that. It's always pink. But heaven forbid I put the lid on without showing him the strawbeez mook and all its pinkness.
My New Year's resolution for little 15 month old Trace is harder to come up with because he's kind of the perfect child. However, if he would just stay out of the toilet for the year, that would be nice. I know, I know, I should keep the bathroom doors closed... but remember. I have a potty training 3 year old. Sometimes he forgets to put the lid down, and sometimes I forget to make sure he puts the lid down. Hence my resolution for the little fisherman.
For baby #3... I hear these stories about people who had a full term baby and didn't even know they were pregnant. If I could make it to my 9th month and not feel or look pregnant like these supposed people... that would be glorious. So that would be my resolution for baby #3... don't make me fat, and don't kick my floating rib. Please.
This has all been fun, but back to reality. Any resolutions for myself, you ask? I really haven't gotten there yet. I'm just now getting over the fact that Christmas is over and so is Holly on SirusXM radio. *Sigh* I did, however, start a new, made from scrap mail organizer that is still in an unfinished mess on my kitchen table. I suppose if I really wanted to get down to business, then my resolutions would look a little something like, #1 Clean out the garage and put away the Christmas decor myself, #2 Think of ways to always one-up the Germans, (giant, inflatable, Snoopy snow globe for next year, maybe? They should be 80% off by now...) #3 Try to have more patience with my whiny toddler, #4 Be extra vigilant to close the toilet lids, and #5 Accept my impending, miserable fatness.
Really. Who am I kidding??? I think it would be better if I just made resolutions for the day and forget the year. I think I'll just start with keeping everything and everyone clean, and keeping the kids alive. (And maybe check on those inflatable Snoopy snow globes...)
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